An Asian be a goth

I'm an Asian. I'm a Filipina. I see in my self the joy of being a goth, but of course, there are things that other elder goths etc.say about , being Asian. I believe that when it comes to expressing yourself, it doesn't matter if what race you belong to. I know, I know, they say wearing heavy makeup for us Asians doesn't seem good. Some ubergoths and English goths (I'm not generalizing here) says that it doesn't suit us Asians to be in to goth culture.

Well, as if I'll care if anyone would freaking tell me that it doesn't suit me to be a goth. Like hell, I'm used to it ( just expressing my self and what I feel here ).

My journey onto this labyrinth

It was on my 1st year, in high school when My Chemical Romance successfully launched their album, the black parade. It was also that time when emo subculture became viral in social networking sites here in the Philippines. My metal headed best friend influenced me to listen to Alesana, As I Lay Dying etc. At that time I didn't know anything about "goths". Until... My father thought of having an internet connection onto our PC at home. I searched more and more bands, that was the only thing that I'm fond of doing after school. Listening to new songs that I've downloaded and to explore new bands.

The next day, my best friend told me that he was listening to Nightwish, a symphonic rock/Gothic band.When I first heard him say that word "Gothic", it has a different ring in my ears. As usual, after school, I searched the band Nightwish on limewire. I was surprised, because of the huge difference between their music to the bands that I've been listening to in the past few months of my highschool life. I'm not that kid that easily gets swayed by what other people tells. So with my own will I googgled the word gothic bands. I found out that its associated with deathrock, EBM, dark wave etc. My eyes was opened that it was not just symphonic rock x Gothic rock. The first band that I believe to be goth was Siouxie and the Banshees and the first song that I heard from them was the ''Happy House''. I came comparing all the bands that I've listened to until this day.

It was through music when I first entered this labyrinth. I didn't know anything about the Gothic lifestyle and culture when I was on the young age of 14. All I did was to listen to Gothic music, I didn't notice that it was my first step into entering this labyrinth. I admit that for me, it was a process. That at first I'm not capable of bearing the word goth for my self.

When I turned 16, I already opened myself. I accepted and I chose to be one of them. I am freely a baby bat. I embraced the dark side and immersed my self into it as well. I dress goth, I think goth, I live and breathe to being a goth. That also imposed my intelligence. The elementary days of being bullied was then a part of my history. I am now known as the sullen doll. I'm already in college right now. Still, I love darkness. I appreciate art and the things that mainstream people are not aware of.

Onto this blog I will continue to express my self. Onto this that I will try to share the joy of being part of the Goth subculture.
And onto this labyrinth I welcome everyone who respects us as who we are, as goths. And also through this labyrinth, I curse anyone who defies and degrades us goths as humans.

-thesullendoll

The Sullen Doll

This name came from an old friend. It was our recollection gathering that time, our reverend instructed us to write our names in a paper. He also asked us to assemble in circle. He ordered us to pass the paper to someone next to us and to write something about that person that owns the paper. We're all classmates. When my paper came back to me, I was surprised how my classmates see me. They see me as a : quiet, dangerous, mysterious, gloomy, scary, dark person. But what struck me the most is that phrase, A SULLEN DOLL. When I asked who wrote it. It was my old friend. That she sees me as a sullen doll. At that time I don't know what it means. Until I loved the words. And here it is. . .